Love, both expressed and received, is helpful, not because it ameliorates the symptoms of depression (it does not), but because it gives people evidence that life may be worth living if they can only get better. Worldly success does little to assuage that agony, as Robin Williams’ suicide makes clear. Many untreated depressives lack friends because it saps the vitality that friendship requires and immures its victims in an impenetrable sheath, making it hard for them to speak or hear words of comfort. Having a place to admit and share your storyĪndrew Solomon, author of the best-selling book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, writes:ĭepression is a disease of loneliness.
You wander in the wilderness of pain by yourself and endure it as best you can. When this doesn’t happen, you feel alone, distressed and even abandoned. You need to communicate your distress and know that your “tribe” will listen and care.
Here is a bit of hard-won wisdom I’ve learned: when I feel the worst is when I most need to be with other people and share.īeing with others is even more critical when you’re in pain. While it may be a good idea to take “timeout” from others to enjoy some peace or not share with others that we have strong reason to believe won’t understand, these strategies are often maladaptive and only serve to maintain and/or fuel one’s depression. There are several reasons why this is so: they don’t feel up to being with other people, others simply don’t understand, or they feel a sense of shame and hide.
One of the worst aspects of depression is the loneliness that sufferers endure. Here are some of my thoughts about why it’s good for you and how to find one. I have belonged to one for the past seven years. Well, there are many things you go do, really: therapy, medication, etcetera, etcetera.īut one idea you might not have given much thought to: join a depression support group.
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